Many years ago, I was invited to attend the PhD Summit at Microsoft Research (MSR) as the winner of MSR’s Dissertation Grant in Seattle (I think?). Two people I met there have had a profound impact on me, and it’s really interesting to look back on how certain teeny-tiny occasions that you didn’t even think much of can unfold into something beyond your imagination years later. Isn’t this human life just soOoooo fascinating?! I’m constantly amazed by how things turn out, and it’s never what I thought it would be. That’s the fun part!
One of these two people is James Mickens, a Gordon McKay Professor of Computer Science at Harvard University, according to the all-mighty Internet. Oh Internet, where we find the “truth” for everything these days. Can you imagine if one day, some sneaky computer virus rewrites all the information on the Internet? Actually, that might be too dramatic; let’s just say it rewrites whatever information is shown to you for just a week. For example, James Mickens is no longer a Professor at Harvard, but a fisherman in Peru (yes, I was watching Planet Earth III last night, and it was great 😊). Then what is “truth” to you now? The views and opinions you hold so dear (that you learned from the Internet) can disappear overnight, as a puff of smoke. 💨 Just like that. Nowhere to be traced. No way for you to prove you’re right. How does that feel?
You know, this thought experiment is not as far-fetched as you may think. For all I know, I wouldn’t be surprised if Professor James Mickens decides to become a fisherman in Peru. If that’s the case, would you still want to read this blog to see where things are going? Subconsciously, are you more interested in what a Harvard Professor has to say, compared to a fisherman in Peru? 🐠 Some fishermen are wiser than some professors, I’m telling you. If you don’t believe me, I’ll throw in a story of a fisherman for free in the end. I keep my word. 😎
The Seriousness Trap
So what did James Mickens do? For one thing, his mere existence left a big impression on me. He’s the most hilarious professor I’ve ever met! Oh my goodness, just hearing him talk brings so much laughter haha. Looking back, that’s when a seed was planted 🌱—science is serious work, but we don’t have to be serious!
I don’t know where this “serious” culture comes from, as if you don’t seem serious, people don’t take you seriously. This culture does more harm than good. We have to wear layers of masks and pretend in order to be taken seriously. Then of course, imposter syndrome happens! 😂 You get recognition from the “masks” you show to the world, and this mismatch can make you question whether you actually deserve all the glory. Ironically, when I’m more true to myself and show more vulnerabilities, is when my imposter syndrome fades away. BTW, this is considered “weak” or “soft” in some people’s dictionary (who often have imposter syndrome…), but I don’t really care. In reality, softness possesses immense power, but invisible most of the time, just like water. 🌊
🌸 Side Note: For those of you who love scientific evidence on everything, you can check out Brené Brown’s work on vulnerability. She has a TED talk too.
Little did I know that just by knowing “you don’t have to be serious”, it carried me that far in life. One tangible benefit is that my research talks at conferences are always very well received! I try to communicate with the audience about how cool my research is, using casual language as much as possible to make it easier to understand, instead of using fancy words to sound smart. And when people can actually understand your talk (when they couldn’t understand most talks 😂), you stand out, and it leads to so many amazing collaboration opportunities! See? You don’t have to pretend to be serious to be taken seriously :) Of course, some people wouldn’t take you seriously, but I don’t like hanging out with people who “judge the book by its cover,” so it automatically filters out people I don’t want to talk to! Two birds with one stone, people! 🐤🐦 I’d call it productivity. 😎
🌸 Side Note: You can find my past research talks on YouTube here. Starting from October 2025, my YouTube channel focuses more on mental health, meditation, and positivity. 😊
More importantly, not taking life too seriously isn’t just a fun thing to do — it’s liberating. I believe this is one of the most important principles in living a happy and fulfilling life. For example, in my recent video, I talked about two types of desire and how “not being too serious” can help you achieve your dreams happier and faster. In retrospect, this light-hearted attitude also laid a very strong foundation for me to have a breakthrough in my very first meditation retreat. I still vividly remember that major shift moment with tears running down my face. And I can still hear how my meditation retreat teacher describes it.
“You have given up an ocean of suffering.”
— Bhante Vimalaramsi
It’s been 5 years, and it still holds true. Whatever challenges Life throws at me (oh yes, Life still does do that, of course lol), I know I can overcome whatever, and the “intensity” of suffering is much less than before. This simple principle’s profundity is often overlooked, and I invite you to dive deeper into our Happiness Buffet™️ Podcast. It has lots of laughers throughout (we do what we say! 😉) and you can listen to it while you’re driving. Here’s a sneak peek of our Happy Chef Callan’s take on “being too serious”:
Everyone Is Deeply Confused
In case you forgot, I’m not done with Professor James Mickens yet! The second thing he did that left a profound impression on me goes like this. I don’t remember exactly how he phrased it, but it’s along the lines of the best advice he’s ever heard.
“The truth is, everyone is deeply confused.”
—Unknown
It triggered a lot of laughter in the room (which is always a good thing!), and a lot of relief. Doesn’t it give you relief to know we’re all humans and we’re all the same in some way? Yes, I’m just like you too. I have all the worries and concerns, and I don’t know what I’m doing (I don’t even know what this blog will end up with 😆). But what’s the problem? Do you have any problems right here, right now?
I don’t, as long as I have functional fingers to type (on my beloved Totoro mechanical keyboard, mua! 💋). And I doubt you do, at this particular moment. At least you have the time, the all-mighty Internet, and working eyes or ears to enjoy this blog. 😊 So, yep, I’m totally fine with my confusion and worries, and I make do with the conditioned clarity that I have at the moment (that may disappear later for all I know…). What’s the big deal? Life is just like that, haven’t you noticed? C’est la vie!
I don’t know if you have connected the “dots” yet, but as scattered as this article may seem, I have been talking about the same thing. For example, one of the reasons we put on layers of masks to pretend to be serious is due to our confusion, or rather, we couldn’t make peace with our confusion. When confused, what do we do? We are afraid of showing our confusion, and we mimic others who seem to have figured it all out. Nobody, I’m telling you, nobody has figured it all out. Everyone is deeply confused. It’s only years later that I start to appreciate why Professor James Mickens said it was the best advice he’s ever got. There is just so much wisdom in it. Ironically, it takes a certain level of clarity (ego-shattering) to appreciate the depth of it, similar to the Dunning–Kruger effect. Nobody lives a Life exactly like yours with the exact same conditions, so I’m sorry to break this to you, but you have to figure it out on your own. Be an island unto yourself, but it doesn’t mean aloof. You must walk your own path alone, but it’s not meant to be lonely. You can still learn a lot from others. Use others as your guides (on a particular route in your Life journey, not entirely), but never as crutches. These short videos explain this point:
A Plot Twist
I think that’s enough for today. 😊 This article is far from what I planned to write. Originally, I titled it “The Irony of Human Mind” and wanted to write about the ironic nature of the human mind that causes confusion, such as we always want to solve our problems, but the mind cannot be content with “no problems”. Imagine if you have no problems to solve, instead of feeling happy, you would “invent” problems to solve. The same goes for our complaints on “I don’t have time”, “I’m too busy”. But as soon as we get some time with nothing to do, the mind will look for things to fill the time and keep us busy. Short videos, anyone? lol Yes, suddenly, we want to be busy again! The list goes on and on… Seems to be a fun topic!
Why am I telling you this? I’m being transparent about this process because instead of talking the talk, I want to show you the “truth”. Seriously, every single experience teaches us SO MUCH every single day, if you could just slow down and reflect. 🪷 Let’s take a look at this blog writing example, shall we?
First, Life never goes exactly according to your plan, and it’s OK. I’m still gonna publish this article, and it’s not the end of the world. :) I don’t beat myself up for not meeting my goal, but I try to stay open to whatever Life brings to the table. Life is more fun this way, don’t you think? What’s the fun in knowing exactly what’s gonna happen? Way to spoil our “personalized movie” (you’ll get why this short video is relevant if you realize there’s no difference between Life and Meditation). 🍿
Second, I didn’t lie when I said I was also deeply confused, and I didn’t even know how my blog would turn out. Being confused is OK, and you can still do it anyway. So many of us always wait for the perfect moment, the big idea, the inspiration, or even the sign from the Universe. “I don’t know if I’m ready”, “What if I fail and people laugh at me”, “There are still things I don’t know”, “I don’t have a perfect plan”, “I want to learn more”, “What if XYZ happens and I don’t know how to deal with it.”
“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them have never happened.”
—Mark Twain
These patterns above are all valid, but please notice how long these thoughts last and how you feel about them. You’re the best judge to see whether it has become a trap for yourself. There’s a distinction between wholesome intention and obsessive craving. Don’t ask me how I know it. OK fineeeee, if you have to ask, check out my video on “Two Types of Desire: How to Achieve Your Dreams Happier & Faster 🌈✨”.
Finally, here comes the secret sauce to beat imposter syndrome that we’ve all been waiting for! Oh we loooove secret sauce! 🍝 In case it’s not obvious to you yet, by being honest and transparent (less pretending in other words), it’s already enough to beat your imposter syndrome. It’s that simple. Imagine if I don’t tell you the process behind writing this blog, and I write an article according to my perfect plan titled “The Irony of Human Mind”, although it’s not how I want to write anymore when I’m actually typing on my Totoro keyboard. Then I write something that’s not completely honest to the moment, and I may even need to ask for ChatGPT’s help to finish this blog because I want to publish an article every month, and my Christmas vacation is coming up in 2 days.
Let’s say in a parallel universe, that’s what I did. Now, imagine this “The Irony of Human Mind” blog that I managed to publish before my vacation has gone viral, and maybe even worse, it has led to a Nobel Prize for all I care. Then, when people congratulate me, it’s only natural for me to have imposter syndrome, isn’t it? After all, I rushed to write something that’s not true to myself at the moment (although true at the moment when I planned it), and I even used the “forbidden fruit” ChatGPT to fill the pages (bad girl!). People congratulate something that’s not me, and I don’t deserve it! You can expect me to keep my “ChatGPT secret” to my grave and enjoy the company of my imposter syndrome for the rest of my life. 😂 This is a funny example for dramatic effect, haha. How much imposter syndrome you feel is proportional to how much you pretend and how big the consequences are (e.g., how much I use ChatGPT and how viral the blog becomes).
There you have it! The SECRET SAUCE~~~🍝 Simple, not easy, I know. But at least now you’re aware of it and can start pretending less (if you want). 🎭 Bonus point, just by doing this one single thing, you will experience a completely new world beyond what you could ever imagine. It can take you that far. Magnificent life awaits! 🌈🦄✨
May you beat imposter syndrome once and for all.
With Love,
~Yixue
Bonus Story of a Fisherman 🎣
As promised, here’s the fisherman story! I do keep my word. 😎
Thus have I heard. On one occasion, a businessman was on vacation by a small coastal village. He noticed a fisherman returning to shore with a modest catch, just enough fish for the day.
The businessman asked,
“Why don’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?”
The fisherman replied,
“This is enough to feed my family and enjoy my life.”
The businessman smiled.
“But clearly, there’s an abundant resource here for you to catch more fish! If you do, you could sell them, buy a bigger boat, hire more fishermen, and expand your business.”
The fisherman nodded politely.
“Then what?”
“Well,” the businessman continued, getting excited,
“Then you could turn it into a company. Maybe Happy Fisherman LLC to start with. You will have more people working together with you and catch more fish, generating more revenue to go bigger!”
Listening, the fisherman asked again,
“Then what?”
The businessman continues,
“Then expand to a big corporation! You could go IPO, scale, optimize, even go global.”
The fisherman is amazed and asks again.
“Then what?”
The businessman said,
“Then you could sell the company, make a lot of money, retire early…”
The fisherman looked up from mending his nets and smiled.
“And then what?”
The businessman said,
“Then you could relax, do your hobbies, spend time with your family, and enjoy life by the sea.”
The fisherman smiled softly and said,
“But… I’m already doing that.”
Love this perspective; the idea of our universaly accepted 'truth' being just a few lines of code away from chaos is both amusing and deeply unsettling.
Well done and thoughtful as usual Yixue.